Stress vs. Burnout: What’s the Difference?

You're getting through your days, but you've noticed that you start them already feeling exhausted. Your to-do list is always growing, you're snapping at your family, and even things you normally enjoy feel like one more thing on the dreaded list.

You know you're stressed. But you've also wondered if there's more to it.

What's the difference between stress and burnout?

While they are related, they're not the same experience.

Stress is the body's and brain's response to demands, pressure, uncertainty, or change. This could be brought about by a demanding work project, challenges with your kids or relationships, moving or starting something new, job loss, financial pressures, or other major life transitions. What these items all have in common is that they're specific, identifiable triggers, and they are usually temporary. Once the work deadline is met, for example, you're able to re-integrate back to your day to day processes. Once the exam passes, you're able to relax again since the demand has lowered. Once you land a new job, things feel hopeful again.

Stress is a universal experience, and a certain amount of stress (or anxiety) is arguably healthy to keep us motivated and on track. [If we didn't ever stress or worry about anything, we wouldn't care about our responsibilities or act in socially acceptable ways!]

Burnout, on the other hand, can start to set in when the stress is prolonged and you begin to feel depleted, physically and emotionally.

When people talk about burnout, we tend to assume it always comes from the "work realm." But prolonged stress and depletion can also show up in relationships, friendships, or parenting, particularly when there is persistent conflict or a clear imbalance of effort.

But, it is true: Work is such a huge part of our lives, and it's something many of us HAVE to do, whether we like it or not. As a stress and anxiety therapist in NJ, I often see burnout in working professionals and high achieving students for two main reasons: 1) being a long term victim of an "overworked and understaffed" profession with no light at the end of the tunnel [ie: many healthcare workers these days], or 2) a true lack of alignment between your values and the values of those around you, such as your employer or colleagues.

When your own values conflict with the environment around you, you may find yourself constantly choosing between what feels right to you and what you need to do to keep your job. Over time, that can leave you feeling dissatisfied, disconnected, or unfulfilled.

Some signs of burnout may include exhaustion never seems to fully lift, feeling more detached or emotionally flat, reacting irritably or out of proportion more frequently, feeling like everything is an obligation (even something that should be fun), or feeling ineffective or like you're constantly falling behind.

Identifying burnout doesn't mean you need to upend your life or immediately quit your job, leave the friendship, or make some other drastic change. Remember the beautiful duality of life: Two things can be true at once.

You can love your career choice AND feel like it's too much sometimes.

Your kids can be the absolute light of your life AND you know that parenting is the hardest, most thankless job out there.

You can really care about your friendships AND feel sick and tired of being the only one making an effort to keep in touch, make plans, or initiate tough conversations.

Stress says, "I have too much on my plate," while burnout says, "I can't imagine giving any more than I already am."

You don't have to wait until you're completely burned out to take your stress seriously.

If chronic stress is affecting your sleep, work, relationships, mood, and making it harder to enjoy your life, it might be time to slow down and talk with a therapist. Therapy can give you space to understand the pressure, identify patterns, learn what's keeping you stuck, and work towards realistic change.

Take Care,

LM

Learn more about Stress Therapy and Anxiety Therapy.