People Pleasing Therapy in Cresskill, serving all of Bergen County, NJ
Support for People Pleasing, Boundaries, and Anxiety across New Jersey & Connecticut
Service areas including Tenafly, Englewood, Alpine, Ridgewood, Franklin Lakes, Demarest, Closter, Old Tappan, Haworth, Stanford, Westport, and surrounding communities
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Are You Tired of Putting Everyone Else First?
You know you’re a caring person. You want the people around you to be happy. But sometimes it feels like keeping everyone else comfortable has become your full time job.
This extra time and energy is creating added stress that you frankly don’t need.
People pleasing leads to stress, burnout, anxiety, irritability, and resentment.
Do you...
Say “yes” before you even have a chance to think about whether you really want to?
Worry that someone will be upset, disappointed, or angry if you say “no”?
Find yourself apologizing even when you haven’t really done anything wrong?
Replay conversations afterward, wondering if you said too much or came across the wrong way?
Know you need better boundaries, but feel incredibly guilty whenever you try to set one?
Sometimes excessive people pleasing can be a response to prior conditioning or trauma; Try reading my blog on fawning.
You probably look like you're doing just fine.
You answer the text, take care of the things, smooth over the awkward moment, and tell everyone you’re fine and you can help. You notice when someone’s mood changes and immediately start wondering what you did wrong or how you can fix it. By the end of the day you’ve spent so much energy anticipating everyone else’s needs that you barely know what you need yourself. And when you finally get a moment alone, you’re exhausted, resentful, or wondering why saying “no” feels incredibly hard.
Nearly half (48%) of adults in the US would describe themselves as “people pleasers,” according to a YouGov survey in 2024.
You Are Not Alone
If almost half of the adults in the US report feeling this way, you are far from alone.
People pleasing is often mistaken for being “nice,” “easygoing,” or “a good person.” But underneath, it can be a big responsibility riddled with guilt, anxiety, and fear of judgment.
The goal isn't to create impenetrable boundaries or say “no” all the time. It’s about recognizing your own needs, knowing that those needs matter, and utilizing your voice to set appropriate expectations and boundaries that feel more manageable.
At Taking Care Therapy, I believe that taking care of yourself isn't something you earn after everyone else’s needs are met.
You can stop abandoning yourself now.
Therapy that meets you where you are.
You don't have to come in knowing why exactly you people please or what you need to change. Our first few sessions are about getting you know you, understanding the patterns you’re noticing, and figuring out what feels the most important to work on. There is a lot of nuance to family and relationship histories and established dynamics, and I won’t just tell you to “say no.”
Together, we’ll look at moments when you tend to over-apologize, avoid conflict, or take responsibility unnecessarily. We’ll explore your beliefs and experiences and work on building more confidence in communication and in acknowledging your needs and decisions.
My approach is practical, collaborative, and down to earth. We'll build skills to help you manage relationships, set healthier boundaries, and create more space for you.
Progress doesn't mean becoming someone who doesn’t care what anyone thinks. It means being able to care about others without losing yourself in the process.
